


5 times Patrick hated his body and 1 time he didn't

by orphan_account



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: 5+1 Things, Body Image, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 20:24:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8341486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Six drabbles; five where Patrick hated his body and one where he didn't. Chronological order.





	

Patrick looked at the mirror. He was only wearing boxers and he felt... sort of disgusting. He grabbed at his stomach; there was way too much to grab onto there. He hated his body. He hated the way it was, chubby and all.

He looked at his thighs. They were so... big. He let out a sob and he closed the door of the bathroom without thinking twice. He didn't want Pete to see him in this pathetic state of shame and how he loathed himself for being so _fat_.

He was full on crying now, and he soon heard the wood of the stairs creaking and then someone knocking on the bathroom door. It was clear it was Pete, but he still didn't want to open the door.

"Patrick?" he called, and Patrick got up from the toilet, feeling weak and sorta useless. He opened the door and Pete looked at him up and down. "Again?" he asked in a whisper, and Patrick knew what he meant as he nodded heavily. Pete let out a sigh and kissed the younger boy. "You're beautiful no matter what, Lunchbox."

Patrick couldn't help but think it was a lie.

\---

It was seriously a stupid thing to be so shaken up by, but what Patrick hated most was when he went to get new clothes with Pete. He hated it when a pair of jeans didn't fit, making him feel as self-conscious as ever.

He was trying to put some jeans on and they wouldn't fit. He let out a cuss and closed his eyes, tears pricking them. "Patrick?" he heard Pete's voice from outside the fitting room. He was taking way too long.

"Yeah?" Patrick said, barely audible.

"Something wrong?" Pete asked, and it sounded so full of worry it made Patrick sob. Soon Pete pulled the curtain away and saw Patrick with the jeans, not fully put on. "Oh," he said dumbly.

Patrick grit his teeth, supposing that Pete would go on a rant about how he shouldn't be so upset over a pair of jeans not fitting. But instead, Pete kissed him, took the jeans away and nodded. "I'll go get a bigger size, alright?"

"Alright," Patrick said, not looking at his boyfriend.

\---

It was 2009 and the days seemed infinite. No one liked Folie à Deux, everyone claimed it was terrible. He had also gained a lot of weight in the last year or so, and he felt so self-conscious.

He was going to the doctor with his boyfriend, their hands intertwined as they waited for the response for the test. "Mr. Stumph?" they heard from the other room, and Patrick got up, nodded and went there.

"You're pre-diabetic, Mr. Stumph," the doctor told him. Patrick bit his lip. He knew this was gonna happen eventually, if he kept eating so mindlessly, if he kept being such a fatass.

"I—" he felt tears prick at his eyes. The comments, every 'the lead singer is so fat's, came to his mind. "Alright."

If that announcement wasn't enough, the next words only made it worse. "For it not to develop into full-blown diabetes, you got to lose weight, Mr. Stumph."

Patrick nodded dumbly. Every comment was right. Every 'the lead singer needs to lose weight's was right He bit his lip, nodded and then went to pay. He didn't cross gazes with Pete, worry making him feel dizzy.

When they were out of the clinic, Patrick threw himself at his boyfriend's arms. "Woah, woah, what's wrong?" Pete said when Patrick started sobbing uncontrollably. He had never felt as disgusting.

"I... I'm pre-diabetic. And I need to lose weight," he breathed. "They were right, they were right. The comments, the hate... they were right."

Pete kissed his cheek. "It'll be alright, Trick. You'll lose weight. You'll be fine."

Patrick let out a soft sob and nodded, knowing he had to do it to be healthy, to be good and not fat anymore.

\---

Patrick looked at himself in the mirror. He could say he was happy with his looks; he was skinny, his face wasn't chubby anymore. His legs weren't as big and disgusting anymore.

He had to restrain the urge to eat, eat, eat. He had to eat healthy, to exercise. He was pulling new music and nobody liked it. Some said they liked him better fat.

He felt like he could never make everybody happy. Sometimes, he hated his skinny self. He hated how tired he got, how concerts took a toll on him.

It was one of those self-conscious days. He was too skinny, he almost looked _unhealthily_ skinny. And now he didn't have Pete to come comfort him like he always did.

He looked at his body, at how there was nothing to grab onto in his stomach. And he didn't like it. He missed being even a bit chubby.

And everybody's comments on his appearance changes weren't helping, either.

\---

Patrick and Pete had finally reunited after almost four years of losing contact because of the hiatus. Patrick had gained weight as soon as Fall Out Boy had came back to life, and Pete was as loving of the younger boy as always.

Patrick was looking at his chubby stomach with a bit of shame. He had pulled off losing weight just fine; and now he had gained again with a lot more of easiness. Everyone had seemed to appreciate his looks in 2011 than his music, and it upset him somewhat.

He grabbed his stomach and winced at how fat he felt. He didn't like it. Pete was still fast asleep, but he knew he wouldn't be for much longer. He went out of the bathroom and headed to the bedroom of his and Pete's. He put a shirt on and sighed when he saw it wasn't too big as it was during the hiatus.

"Trick? You're awake?" Pete asked as he opened his eyes, yawning loudly.

"Morning, sleepyhead," Patrick said with a smile. "Did you sleep well?" he asked as he glanced at his boyfriend, who got out of bed with only boxers and a shirt on.

"Yeah. How are you?"

"Mmm— fine, I guess."

Pete saw him put an arm across his belly and he sighed. "You're perfect no matter what, okay?" he said after giving him a quick peck in the lips.

"Okay," Patrick nodded, and Pete grinned. "Okay," he repeated more to himself as Pete went to the bathroom.

\---

Patrick was cuddling with Pete. He sighed into the older boy's chest, feeling safe there, safer than usual. He noticed his big thighs and chubby stomach and for once he didn't really care. Pete would love him no matter his weight; he'd be a good singer no matter his weight.

He huddled closer to his boyfriend and kissed him. Pete looked at him, woken up by the touch, and smiled when he saw Patrick smile, more happily than most of the time. He loved the singer, he loved him for who he was.

"Pete?" he said softly, his head resting on the other boy's chest.

"Yeah?"

"I like my body the way it is," he stated, and Pete grinned. He was so, so glad to hear that. He knew Patrick had such a hard time with accepting his body, and hearing that he was happy with how it was— it made him happy, too.

"I'm glad to hear that, Trick," Pete said, making Patrick to look up to him. He kissed him softly and Patrick felt special. Patrick felt like his weight didn't matter, for once. "I like your body the way it is, too."

Both boys grinned, and Patrick was glad to be so in love with someone who'd accept him no matter what.


End file.
